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wounded feminine

If you are here, then it’s possible you have heard of wounded feminine energy and wondered what it is. In the article, you will learn what causes wounded feminine energy and how you can benefit from learning more about the signs.

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link.

What you will learn:

  1. What is wounded feminine energy?
  2. Wounded feminine energy traits
  3. What causes wounded feminine energy?
  4. How to heal wounded feminine energy?
  5. How to heal wounded masculine energy in a female?
  6. Our top book to heal feminine energy

Now that you have an idea of what we will be covering in this article you will learn how to become more aware of living a deeper more meaningful life.

Many of us deal with some form of trauma, hurt, abuse, or pain throughout our lives. Some of this pain may involve childhood trauma that finds its way into adulthood. At the end of this article, I will be uncovering the book that changed my life forever.


Wounded feminine energy is when you are consciously or subconsciously suppressing feelings of emotions, trauma, or other events from your past that have been left unresolved that hinder your present life. This wounding comes from various areas in your life that made you feel unloved, hurt, betrayed, unsafe, or not supported.



Many of us cope with our wounds in different ways but affects us the same in areas emotionally, physically, and mentally.

11 traits of wounded feminine energy:

  1. Not feeling good enough
  2. Feelings of jealousy and envy often
  3. Clingy, obsessive, or controlling
  4. Not setting and maintaining your boundaries
  5. Putting yourself in risky situations
  6. Inflicting harm on yourself or others
  7. Manipulation
  8. An unhealthy habit of social isolation
  9. Having unsafe risky partners
  10. Lack of confidence
  11. Reject your feminine side


What causes wounded feminine energy will be different for everyone. However, there are many surface reasons that may have caused it.

Wounded feminine energy may be caused by any traumatic or unwanted events in your life as a child or adult that have left you feeling unloved, uncared for, neglected, unsafe, or any form of abuse. As a child, who was not provided adequate care, this could potentially lead to trauma that the adult may not be aware of until analyzing one’s own unhealed wounds in their life.

Here are a few things to consider:

  1. You are not responsible for what happened to you as a child
  2. You are love and will be loved the way you are intended to
  3. You are not your problems and trauma
  4. You are not a victim you are a survivor
  5. You were not able to take care of yourself as a child, but you can now
  6. As an adult, you are responsible for healing any unhealed wounds
  7. Start becoming aware of the choices that you are making on a conscious level

Some of our trauma can somehow be pinned back into our childhood. And if left untouched or unhealed can lead to our relationships with not only other people but ourselves.

This can come in the forms of not begin able to pick a healthy partner, choosing the wrong friends, not begin able to keep a job, always getting into fights, not begin able to communicate your feelings in a proactive manner, and so much more.

By taking accountability and responsibility for your life you are able to see red flags and avoid them, your choose social circles that inspire you and motivate you, you find ways to articulate your emotions in a healthy manner, and you are able to notice your traumas in your life instead of avoiding them.


First things first, acknowledging and noticing patterns in your life is a must to move forward to healing your wounds. It is not going to be an easy journey, but, it’s better than continuously living your life repeating the same cycles over and over again.

Acknowledging the wounds is not an easy task either. You have to dig deep within yourself and ask yourself some tough questions. You also have to sit with your emotions when you are struggling, hurt, or in pain.

Here are some ways how to heal wounded feminine energy:

  1. First, acknowledge your triggers or painful events in your life
  2. Ask yourself tough questions when you feel emotions rising up to the surface
  3. Notice patterns in your life so you can take action on changing them
  4. Seek counseling from family, friends, or a professional. (I highly, recommend a professional)
  5. Sit in your emotions and allow yourself to analyze them deeper
  6. Pray
  7. Use your creativity, journal, write, sing, or draw your feelings out
  8. View your life from an outsider’s perspective
  9. Take inventory of your sex life
  10. Surround yourself with the elements of nature: water, fire, air, or earth (bonfire, swimming, laying out in the grass to ground yourself, begin outside on a very windy day)
  11. Take a ritualistic salt bath
  12. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself 3 times
  13. Grab a photo of you when you were younger and remind yourself this is who you are healing for

Personal Journey

I was 30 years old when I started taking charge of my own life. Like really start taking charge. I did therapy on/off for years prior to turning 30 but was still not able to figure out why reoccurring themes in my life were still happening.

Chaotic relationships kept surfacing, choosing mentally and physically abusive partners. I was always moving, leaving guys before they left me, and putting myself in risky sexual situations to run from the pain.

It was later I realized speaking with my therapist that I was acting from a place of fear and also because the chaos was all I knew as a child so as an adult I acted out after my first heartbreak.

I started to set boundaries in all of my relationships, whether it was romantic, with work, friends, or family and I did not care who I hurt along the way.

I got to a point where I knew I could no longer people please as it cost me nearly a decade of unrequited love, pain, and more trauma I accumulated back to myself.

Some of the wounds from trauma in your life may never be healed, but acknowledging them and not allowing them to take over your life is a step in the right direction.


You might be a bit perplexed by this one. Let me explain, men and women both encompass masculine and feminine energy. Energy is gender-fluid and these two energies have their own traits.

However, a wounded masculine energy in a female will act differently than a wounded feminine energy in a female. How so? Well, I am glad you asked!

Here are some traits of a female in a wounded masculine energy:

  1. Too competitive
  2. The desire for power and control
  3. Always action-oriented, not able to rest
  4. Taking on too many tasks and responsibilities
  5. Rejecting help or unwanted opinions
  6. Using assertive aggressive tones to get things done
  7. You keep yourself busy and wear it as a badge of honor

There are also traits for wounded female in a masculine energy with themselves or their romantic partner.

If you are interested in reading more about this then check out: How To Heal Wounded Masculine Energy In a Female

Our Top Pick Book Healing Wounded Feminine Energy

I have to give it to this book (and audible considering I listen to most of it while on my drives to work).

It has changed my life and I know it will change yours too. You Are a Goddess by Sophie Bashford was able to help me unpack a lot of the traumatic events in my life that have occurred. It did not leave me feeling like I was doing it alone either. It allowed me to feel a need to be closer to women as I felt more of a healing aspect come from them. I became in awe of a women’s life and how unique and different we are from our male counterparts.

I started setting boundaries, I started standing in my power like never before. It provided me with something that therapy from all those years could not. I started actually giving love to myself.

This book works with the sacred feminine to awaken, heal and transform your life. And it does just that!

Final Thoughts

Even though it can be challenging, this path of healing wounded feminine energy can be the most beautiful and transformative path we can take in our lives.

As you grow spiritually, you feel truly connected to God, to people, to the Universe, and to every aspect of your life.

Your relationships become more meaningful and authentic.

Your sex life improves as you become more attuned to your body.

And you gift yourself the joy of experiencing life with more intention, presence, and vibrancy than ever before.

So if you’d love to learn more about how to integrate your masculine and feminine energy in specific aspects of your life, such as sexuality, explore our blog and sign up for our newsletter for much more!

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